You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
