i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
No stitches, just platelets and will power
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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