Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
