I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
