You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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