Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize