We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
