IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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