Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
