Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize