they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
