google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
its liver damage thursday
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize