My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
