I wannas sexs uuuuu
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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