Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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