You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
