When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
