i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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