saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize