I'm laying in your front yard are you home
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize