I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
