About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize