If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
