Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
