I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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