is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
