thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
