guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
