No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
