we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
this will be a night to untag.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
