Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
