About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
