Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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