we have officially lost it.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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