No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
