Having a random hookup so left but love u
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
