My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
