I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
