Whod you bang
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Life is so much better after having sex.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
