apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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