Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
