Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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