my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize