went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
