guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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