He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
