so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
