So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
