Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
