just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
