Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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