You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
