After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
