at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize