I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just found puke in my bra..
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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