i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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