The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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