Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.

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(602): View more from Arizona

So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...

(623): View more from Arizona

What did she do!?

(602): View more from Arizona

I didn't tell her...

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(973): View more from New Jersey

random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Sucks about the cops last night

(848): View more from New Jersey

to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"

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(516): View more from New York

i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.

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(517): View more from Michigan

I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.

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(224): View more from Illinois

We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.

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