OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize