After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize