Already got asked if we're dating
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
