I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
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