She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
