I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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