I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
