I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
