he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
