3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
