No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
